When divorce is like ✂️ death by a thousand cuts

Mar 25, 2023

We are familiar with divorce’s Big Moments of Pain - fights, moving out, seeing your ex arm-in-arm with their new partner.

Honestly, though, what’s so draining is the small everyday things that add up. The “death by a thousand cuts.”

Tell me if any of these resonate.

  • Removing your ex’s name from your checking account.
  • Bumping into an acquaintance in the grocery store and having to tell them about your divorce.
  • Finding that beautiful stoneware bowl you got as a wedding gift.
  • Hearing “your song” on the sound system at Target.
  • Still seeing your married name on the electricity bill.

I’d be going about my day, and one of those little things would happen and I would lose it. Right there in the yogurt aisle at the grocery store. And the bra section of Target.

And don’t get me started on Facebook Memories. 😭

And yet it’s not the sum total of your experiences. Other things happen simultaneously, like:

  • Hearing kind words from someone you thought was only friends with your ex.
  • Realizing you can watch any TV show you want tonight.
  • Discovering you can (paint, sew, sing, garden) do interesting things.
  • Having quality 1:1 time with your child. And then having quality alone time.

Holding the painful with the hopeful is tough, but so important. Helping re-frame divorce and your next steps is an important part of my courses.

I invite you along.


Sarah 🖖



Image: Wound Man from Hans von Gersdorff's Feldtbuch der Wundartzney (Strasburg, 1519).

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